In Memory of a Friend

As I sit here, staring at an empty page and wondering where to begin, my head is swirling with so many memories of a friend.  A friend I have lost.  How do I even start my feeble attempt to encapsulate a life so full, so vibrant, so kind and gentle...the life of a 26-year-old so passionately in love with her Savior?

I knew Erica Geary for less than a year, and yet she left a deep and lasting imprint on my life.  She moved to town last summer, having recently graduated with a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree.  I remember when I first met her.  It was Sunday morning.  We were at church, and as I walked upstairs from the basement and passed near the back doors, someone stopped me and said, "Stacey, have you met Erica yet?"  Well, Erica was standing right there, so apparently I was going to meet her whether I wanted to or not.  (Don't get me wrong - I'm a very social person.  But I'm also very shy, and get pretty nervous about being able to make conversation with strangers, so I ashamedly admit that I rarely introduce myself to new people at church.)

My first picture with Erica, when she came over for a movie night 

to watch "Saving Mr. Banks".

Erica was shy as well, but it turns out we had nothing to worry about.  We hit it off right away.  I learned that she had been hired as a Vet at the local animal hospital (which gave us an immediate point of connection because I LOVE animals!).  I welcomed her to our church and encouraged her to come back.  She did.  She was honest that she was checking out different churches in the area, and I didn't pressure her to pick ours, but I made sure she knew we'd love to have her.  In the end, I guess our church felt most like home, because that's where she decided to settle down.

Getting frozen yogurt with Rachel and Erica.

Erica loved to get out and walk on the trail!

There were a few other young people in the church.  Within the first few months of being a part of our fellowship, Erica stepped up and decided to start a Bible Study for us 20-something's.  So we started meeting in her apartment every Thursday night.  There were about nine of us total (when everybody showed up).  After some deliberation, we began a study of Acts.  Erica loved to study the outworking of Christianity in the early church, when the disciples were carrying out the Great Commission.  

Most of our Bible Study group at our Christmas party.

A "girl's night" with homemade pizza and the I Love Lucy show!

Erica was passionate about reaching people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She had been on a few mission trips to different countries, and her dream was to return to Mongolia as a full time veterinary missionary.  She was working hard towards that goal, and had raised the support to go back this year for another short term trip, with the plan of moving there permanently as soon as she could within the next few years.  Mongolia was always on her heart.  Despite her fear of speaking in front of people, she did presentations about Mongolia at several different churches.  I think my jaw hit the floor when she talked about the climate and the extreme cold, but she was up for the challenge.

One of the pictures Erica showed me from her trip to Mongolia.

We were all struck by her passion to follow God's calling.  But she wasn't merely focusing on Mongolia.  She understood that her mission field was wherever she was.  She may have been shy, but she was bold in her faith.  She wanted to reach people in our community, and that's exactly what she did.

Part of our Bible Study group sang Christmas carols at a local nursing home.

On Thursday, April 2nd, I attended the Maundy Thursday service at church.  Erica was there, and I gave her a quick hug before the service started.  I had been traveling out of town for 6 weeks, and I was happy to see her again.  I hoped we'd have a chance to catch up afterwards.

It was a beautiful service.  We had a small gathering, and we went around in a circle and read from the gospel of John.  I can't remember if Erica read this verse, or if she stopped at the verse before it, but I'd like to think she read John 17:24: "Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world."

Afterwards, each of us were personally served communion by either Pastor Copeland or John Marken, one of our elders.  Mr. Marken remembers praying over Erica after he served her, and when he finished, she looked up and their eyes met.  And there was something in her eyes...something different...something special...  Perhaps God had given her a special glimpse into His glory.

Erica with her church family here, who loved her and will miss her so, so much!

Erica and I talked with different people after the service, and were two of the last people to leave.  We were walking out at the same time, and stopped on the sidewalk to chat.  I'm so thankful for the time I spent talking to her that night.  It had been a long day and I could have headed home and planned to catch up with her later.  But as I have now been painfully reminded, later may never come.

My mind desperately fights to remember everything we talked about, every word she spoke to me that night.  She said how excited she was to be going home to Maryland the next day to spend Easter weekend with her family.  She hadn't been home since Christmas.  She was so happy that her brother was going to be there and they would all be together.

I asked how work was going.  I knew the job had been challenging.  She loved her coworkers and enjoyed working with the animals, but she had been struggling to feel confident in her own abilities, and I remember hugging her for a long time one Sunday a few months ago as she cried after a difficult case when a client had been rude and unkind (coupled with the stress of being on call all weekend and wondering when the phone was going to ring and what emergency she would have to deal with by herself).

A recent picture of Erica having fun with one of her coworkers 

and an interesting patient at the animal clinic.

But now she said she had finally started to feel a lot more confident in herself, and work was going well.  I asked how Bible Study was going.  She said attendance was kind of up and down with people being so busy, and she was concerned that the group might dissipate after some of our members moved away this summer.  She talked again about her desire to minister to our community, and said that she hoped our group wouldn't dissolve without having made a difference.  Beyond the benefit each of us had derived from the study, she wanted us to have made an impact on other people's lives.

That is exactly what Erica did.  Everywhere she went, she made a difference.  She impacted people's lives.  I have been overwhelmed reading the countless testimonies on her Facebook page this past week from people everywhere whose lives she touched.  She lived a life fearlessly abandoned to God, and we will never be the same for having known her.  She came into our community 10 short months ago like a ray of sunshine with her beautiful smile and sweet spirit.  Through the testimony of her life, she has challenged us to be better people, to be stronger Christians, to love God more and to put our faith into action.

Erica's family. Please keep them in your prayers!

Erica died in a car accident on April 3rd - Good Friday - at 3pm - the same hour that our Lord died on the cross.  I don't want to read into things too much, but I can't help but wonder if the timing was a reminder to us of how special Erica was to our Heavenly Father.

It's hard not to question why God would allow her die so young, especially when all she wanted to do was to serve Him in Mongolia.  I can only imagine what she would have accomplished there in His name.  But He knew what His purpose was for her life, and He knew the number of her days before she was born.  God was holding Erica in the palm of His hand, and now she is singing and dancing for joy in His presence!

Erica loved to hike and enjoy the beauty of God's creation.

When I heard the news on Saturday, my heart shattered.  I shed more tears throughout that day than I have any other day in my life.  But we must remember that we mourn for ourselves, not for Erica.  And when I said goodbye Thursday night, it was not forever.  I will see her again one day when we are reunited in Heaven.  What a glorious day that will be!

Meanwhile, I'm still in shock.  I don't know how long it will take for my heart to accept the reality that she's gone.  Maybe it will settle in this Sunday evening when we hold a memorial service for her at my church.  Maybe then the denial that has built protective walls around my heart will crumble, and the sharp pain of grief will shoot through my entire being once more.  I only pray that I can hold back the tears long enough to help lead everyone in worship as we sing some of Erica's favorite songs:

On Jordan's Stormy Banks
It Is Finished
Beneath the Cross

My brother and I will also be singing a special song, "Find Us Faithful".  Such a perfect tribute to Erica's life and the legacy she leaves behind!

If you would like to read her obituary and send condolences to her family, or help support the Christian Veterinary Mission in her memory, click here.

There are two questions that have been burning in my mind since Saturday:

Am I ready to die today?  What legacy will I leave behind?
   

I will leave you with words from Erica herself. This was what she wrote in the "About Me" section of her Facebook page:

You have made us for Yourself O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You. ~Augustine

I am totally in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the light of my eyes and the joy of my heart.

I love being in the middle of mountains, seeing the power of thunderstorms, and gazing up at skies full of stars: pretty much anything that reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. I also love snow!!! Even when at school in western PA, I didn't get sick of it. I love the beauty each season brings. 

I am excited to be a Christian who loves science. The wonders of the natural world are an amazing display of the creativity and incredible genius of our great God! Some of my favorite places to visit are natural wonders (like the Alps or Grand Canyon) or even the zoo or the aquarium. Because I look at the giraffe, the tank of tropical fish, the huge mountains, and I think to myself, "I cannot wait until heaven, when I will stand before the God who made this and enjoy Him forever!"