New Years Reflections

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

2015 has been the craziest rollercoaster of a year I’ve ever experienced. I’m pretty sure it has held the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life, all crammed into one year. So much love, and so much heartbreak. So much joy, and so much sorrow. So many gifts, and so much loss. Dreams created, and then destroyed. New life, and sudden death. Beginnings and endings. This is the reality of life for every one of us, but I’ve never experienced it in such extremes as I did this year. 

I stand here on the brink of 2016 in a very different place than I expected to be. I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed, but it took a completely different turn. I’m single once again. I’ve recently started my own business and joined the ranks of the serious entrepreneurs. I only acted in one film this year (although I kept busy with marketing work for another). There are empty holes in my life caused by the unexpected deaths of my friend Erica and my pastor Lee Copeland. I’ve been through periods of suffering that felt like more than my heart could bear. Intense, crushing pain. 

I don’t say this for your pity or your condolences. Some of you have been through MUCH worse. Friends, I ONLY say this because I want to give TESTIMONY to the GRACE and MERCY of GOD! My storms may have been much smaller than those of others, but they were the biggest storms I’ve had to weather, and through it all, God was CONSTANT. When it felt like my life was crumbling apart, God was my firm foundation. My rock, my anchor. He held me together. But He did much more than that. He brought comfort to my heart. He gave me peace, and even JOY.

I think that will always remain one of the greatest mysteries of the Christian life to me…how we can feel joy in the midst of suffering. Only by God’s grace! And that GRACE is never ending. His MERCIES are new every morning. He showers us with blessings every day. He heals our hearts and gives us peace.

I step into 2016 a very different person than I was a year ago. The beauty of pain and suffering is the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to grow closer to God. I have not handled it all as well as I should have, and I have SO much yet to learn, but praise God for His patience, forgiveness, and unconditional love! He gently takes my hand and leads me one step at a time on this journey. 

I don’t know what 2016 holds, but I know it will be good. Just like 2015 was good. Because GOD IS GOOD. All the time. He makes no mistakes. He knew every detail of my life before I was born. I am so thankful for His faithfulness, and the opportunities He gives me to learn and grow. 

And so I look forward with hope. With eager expectation. God’s plans are perfect. He is the Master Storyteller and I trust Him with my story. There are memories waiting to be made. Blank pages waiting to be filled. Adventures waiting to be had. New dreams, and new beginnings. And with God leading the way, it’s going to be AMAZING.

  

More Levitation Photography

I really enjoyed my first experimentation with levitation photography, so I got out and did some more a few weeks ago! Stephen was a real trooper and helped me again. Here are some of the best shots, with some fun quotes I found to go along with them.

"Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens 

to allow in more light." –Vera Nazarian

"A book is a dream that you hold in your hand." –Neil Gaiman

As a bonus, here are some behind-the-scenes pictures. A test shot for camera settings...

And a blooper picture! I was going to lean my head back, but Stephen yelled that my hair was submerging in the creek. So...that didn't quite work. The real feat was getting back into a sitting position on the stool without getting my shoes wet. Talk about a core workout! Haha!

Levitation Photography

I had never heard of Levitation Photography until a month or so ago.  I saw an article about it in a photography newsletter email, and was instantly intrigued!  The creative possibilities are endless!  This past weekend, I finally had a chance to get out and try it for myself.  Here are the results!  I'm going to share a little bit of the step-by-step process along the way.

First of all, you have to start with your camera on a tripod and ALL your settings on manual so nothing changes.  Set up your model (in this case, myself) and try to make sure nothing is obscured by the ladder (unfortunately, I couldn't see that my hair was hanging behind it).  You also don't want any part of the model or the clothing to look like it is draping over an object.  For instance, if I had been sitting profile on the ladder, the way my skirt would have draped over it instead of falling straight from my waist in the back would have been a visual clue that I had been sitting on something.

Then, I pulled the image into Lightroom and did some preliminary color edits applying a preset and adjusting the sliders until I got a basic look that I wanted.

I copy/pasted all these edits onto a picture of the background.  That is a key element - getting a picture of just the background after you take the picture of the model.  This is why it is important that the camera be on a tripod and not move at any point.  The two pictures need to match exactly.

Next, I opened both pictures (model and background) into Affinity Photo (a program similar to Photoshop) and layered them with the background being underneath.  I proceeded to erase the ladders from the top layer, which showed the bottom layer underneath.  For the technical details on how to do that, please refer to the articles I share at the end of this post.

Then it was back to Lightroom, where I used brushes to paint in some different color tones and adjust exposure, etc.  I also added a slight vignette.  I took it back to Affinity Photo one more time to adjust the too-straight edge of my hair where it had been cut off by the ladder.  Hopefully my slight adjustments made it look a little more realistic. 

And that was it!  Here's the final product:

I want to give a shoutout to my awesome younger brother, Stephen, who set up the ladders and snapped the pictures for me.  He's so sweet and patient to help me with my photoshoots!  He did get some personal enjoyment out of this one -- he kept laughing at the neighbor's reactions when they would look over and see me laying on top of a 6 foot ladder.  Haha!

If you want to follow my photography endeavors, be sure to "like" my Stacey Bradshaw Photography Facebook page!

If you want to learn how to do this yourself, check out these articles that I used to get inspired and learn the techniques for setting up the shot and photoshopping it afterwards:

http://www.digitalcameraworld.com/2013/01/25/levitation-photography-tutorial-how-to-do-portraits-that-defy-gravity/

http://digital-photography-school.com/levitation-photography-7-tips-for-getting-a-great-image/

http://petapixel.com/2015/02/10/levitation-photography-tutorial/

Have fun!  :-)

$35 eShakti Coupon for You!

Some of you may remember last Spring when I reviewed an eShakti dress in a blog post.

Recently, eShakti contacted me again and asked if I would review some new additions to their wardrobe selection and their website, and offered a coupon to share with my readers!  Well, I never want to miss an excuse to peruse their lovely selection of clothes, and I especially don't want to miss out on sharing this coupon with you!  So, needless to say, I was happy to oblige.

First of all, I love eShakti.  And I'm not getting paid, bribed, or threatened into saying this.  It's the truth.  I love their wide selection of clothes and the option to customize not only the size but also the style of many of their clothes!

They truly have something for everyone.  Classy, professional, dressy, casual, fitted, flowing, simple, ornate, retro, contemporary...they have it all!  And of course, I particularly appreciate the wide selection of modest dresses, which is almost impossible to find anywhere else these days.  With a dress from eShakti, you can look classy and chic without having to compromise your standards.

They have recently launched thematic lines such as Contemporary and Bohemian, and have also introduced products in new categories like Jumpsuits, Pants and Shorts.

I find their website to be very easy to navigate, and really helpful when you're trying to narrow down what to browse.  For instance, you can go straight to dresses and see all of them, or you can select a sub-category if you just want to look at options like solid, print, fit and flare, sheath, or maxi.  The new thematic lines also help focus your search if you want to look at all their bohemian or contemporary styled clothes.

Once you're looking at the category you want, you can filter by color, fabric, or price, and also sort by price (low-high, high-low), top sellers, or newest arrivals.

Each item has a very detailed description, including fabric type and washing instructions.  And as I said before, one of my favorite features is that you can customize the size (which is SO helpful to me, as a short, multi-sized person).  With a lot of the dresses, you can also customize the neckline, sleeve style, and skirt length.  How cool is that?!?

Are any of you planning a wedding (or at least hoping there's one in your future)?  Then look no further than eShakti for great Bridesmaid dresses that are not only affordable, but you can let your bridesmaids pick their own style in the same color, and then customize it further for a dress they will love to wear over and over again!

But enough talk from me!  Go check it out for yourself!  And while you're there, you can use this $35 coupon to treat yourself to a fun new wardrobe piece!  But don't wait too long - it expires June 21, 2015.  Happy shopping!  {www.eshakti.com}

   

In Memory of a Friend

As I sit here, staring at an empty page and wondering where to begin, my head is swirling with so many memories of a friend.  A friend I have lost.  How do I even start my feeble attempt to encapsulate a life so full, so vibrant, so kind and gentle...the life of a 26-year-old so passionately in love with her Savior?

I knew Erica Geary for less than a year, and yet she left a deep and lasting imprint on my life.  She moved to town last summer, having recently graduated with a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree.  I remember when I first met her.  It was Sunday morning.  We were at church, and as I walked upstairs from the basement and passed near the back doors, someone stopped me and said, "Stacey, have you met Erica yet?"  Well, Erica was standing right there, so apparently I was going to meet her whether I wanted to or not.  (Don't get me wrong - I'm a very social person.  But I'm also very shy, and get pretty nervous about being able to make conversation with strangers, so I ashamedly admit that I rarely introduce myself to new people at church.)

My first picture with Erica, when she came over for a movie night 

to watch "Saving Mr. Banks".

Erica was shy as well, but it turns out we had nothing to worry about.  We hit it off right away.  I learned that she had been hired as a Vet at the local animal hospital (which gave us an immediate point of connection because I LOVE animals!).  I welcomed her to our church and encouraged her to come back.  She did.  She was honest that she was checking out different churches in the area, and I didn't pressure her to pick ours, but I made sure she knew we'd love to have her.  In the end, I guess our church felt most like home, because that's where she decided to settle down.

Getting frozen yogurt with Rachel and Erica.

Erica loved to get out and walk on the trail!

There were a few other young people in the church.  Within the first few months of being a part of our fellowship, Erica stepped up and decided to start a Bible Study for us 20-something's.  So we started meeting in her apartment every Thursday night.  There were about nine of us total (when everybody showed up).  After some deliberation, we began a study of Acts.  Erica loved to study the outworking of Christianity in the early church, when the disciples were carrying out the Great Commission.  

Most of our Bible Study group at our Christmas party.

A "girl's night" with homemade pizza and the I Love Lucy show!

Erica was passionate about reaching people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She had been on a few mission trips to different countries, and her dream was to return to Mongolia as a full time veterinary missionary.  She was working hard towards that goal, and had raised the support to go back this year for another short term trip, with the plan of moving there permanently as soon as she could within the next few years.  Mongolia was always on her heart.  Despite her fear of speaking in front of people, she did presentations about Mongolia at several different churches.  I think my jaw hit the floor when she talked about the climate and the extreme cold, but she was up for the challenge.

One of the pictures Erica showed me from her trip to Mongolia.

We were all struck by her passion to follow God's calling.  But she wasn't merely focusing on Mongolia.  She understood that her mission field was wherever she was.  She may have been shy, but she was bold in her faith.  She wanted to reach people in our community, and that's exactly what she did.

Part of our Bible Study group sang Christmas carols at a local nursing home.

On Thursday, April 2nd, I attended the Maundy Thursday service at church.  Erica was there, and I gave her a quick hug before the service started.  I had been traveling out of town for 6 weeks, and I was happy to see her again.  I hoped we'd have a chance to catch up afterwards.

It was a beautiful service.  We had a small gathering, and we went around in a circle and read from the gospel of John.  I can't remember if Erica read this verse, or if she stopped at the verse before it, but I'd like to think she read John 17:24: "Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world."

Afterwards, each of us were personally served communion by either Pastor Copeland or John Marken, one of our elders.  Mr. Marken remembers praying over Erica after he served her, and when he finished, she looked up and their eyes met.  And there was something in her eyes...something different...something special...  Perhaps God had given her a special glimpse into His glory.

Erica with her church family here, who loved her and will miss her so, so much!

Erica and I talked with different people after the service, and were two of the last people to leave.  We were walking out at the same time, and stopped on the sidewalk to chat.  I'm so thankful for the time I spent talking to her that night.  It had been a long day and I could have headed home and planned to catch up with her later.  But as I have now been painfully reminded, later may never come.

My mind desperately fights to remember everything we talked about, every word she spoke to me that night.  She said how excited she was to be going home to Maryland the next day to spend Easter weekend with her family.  She hadn't been home since Christmas.  She was so happy that her brother was going to be there and they would all be together.

I asked how work was going.  I knew the job had been challenging.  She loved her coworkers and enjoyed working with the animals, but she had been struggling to feel confident in her own abilities, and I remember hugging her for a long time one Sunday a few months ago as she cried after a difficult case when a client had been rude and unkind (coupled with the stress of being on call all weekend and wondering when the phone was going to ring and what emergency she would have to deal with by herself).

A recent picture of Erica having fun with one of her coworkers 

and an interesting patient at the animal clinic.

But now she said she had finally started to feel a lot more confident in herself, and work was going well.  I asked how Bible Study was going.  She said attendance was kind of up and down with people being so busy, and she was concerned that the group might dissipate after some of our members moved away this summer.  She talked again about her desire to minister to our community, and said that she hoped our group wouldn't dissolve without having made a difference.  Beyond the benefit each of us had derived from the study, she wanted us to have made an impact on other people's lives.

That is exactly what Erica did.  Everywhere she went, she made a difference.  She impacted people's lives.  I have been overwhelmed reading the countless testimonies on her Facebook page this past week from people everywhere whose lives she touched.  She lived a life fearlessly abandoned to God, and we will never be the same for having known her.  She came into our community 10 short months ago like a ray of sunshine with her beautiful smile and sweet spirit.  Through the testimony of her life, she has challenged us to be better people, to be stronger Christians, to love God more and to put our faith into action.

Erica's family. Please keep them in your prayers!

Erica died in a car accident on April 3rd - Good Friday - at 3pm - the same hour that our Lord died on the cross.  I don't want to read into things too much, but I can't help but wonder if the timing was a reminder to us of how special Erica was to our Heavenly Father.

It's hard not to question why God would allow her die so young, especially when all she wanted to do was to serve Him in Mongolia.  I can only imagine what she would have accomplished there in His name.  But He knew what His purpose was for her life, and He knew the number of her days before she was born.  God was holding Erica in the palm of His hand, and now she is singing and dancing for joy in His presence!

Erica loved to hike and enjoy the beauty of God's creation.

When I heard the news on Saturday, my heart shattered.  I shed more tears throughout that day than I have any other day in my life.  But we must remember that we mourn for ourselves, not for Erica.  And when I said goodbye Thursday night, it was not forever.  I will see her again one day when we are reunited in Heaven.  What a glorious day that will be!

Meanwhile, I'm still in shock.  I don't know how long it will take for my heart to accept the reality that she's gone.  Maybe it will settle in this Sunday evening when we hold a memorial service for her at my church.  Maybe then the denial that has built protective walls around my heart will crumble, and the sharp pain of grief will shoot through my entire being once more.  I only pray that I can hold back the tears long enough to help lead everyone in worship as we sing some of Erica's favorite songs:

On Jordan's Stormy Banks
It Is Finished
Beneath the Cross

My brother and I will also be singing a special song, "Find Us Faithful".  Such a perfect tribute to Erica's life and the legacy she leaves behind!

If you would like to read her obituary and send condolences to her family, or help support the Christian Veterinary Mission in her memory, click here.

There are two questions that have been burning in my mind since Saturday:

Am I ready to die today?  What legacy will I leave behind?
   

I will leave you with words from Erica herself. This was what she wrote in the "About Me" section of her Facebook page:

You have made us for Yourself O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You. ~Augustine

I am totally in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the light of my eyes and the joy of my heart.

I love being in the middle of mountains, seeing the power of thunderstorms, and gazing up at skies full of stars: pretty much anything that reminds me of how small I am and how big God is. I also love snow!!! Even when at school in western PA, I didn't get sick of it. I love the beauty each season brings. 

I am excited to be a Christian who loves science. The wonders of the natural world are an amazing display of the creativity and incredible genius of our great God! Some of my favorite places to visit are natural wonders (like the Alps or Grand Canyon) or even the zoo or the aquarium. Because I look at the giraffe, the tank of tropical fish, the huge mountains, and I think to myself, "I cannot wait until heaven, when I will stand before the God who made this and enjoy Him forever!"

Cute Aprons!

Wow, has it really been almost a year since I last posted?  Yikes!  Needless to say, I have been very busy with all of my film work.  You can read more about that on my Acting Blog.

But for now, I want to share with you this wonderful website for buying super cute aprons!  A friend of mine owns this company, and I just became an affiliate.  I love the patterns she uses, and I think you will too!  Go have a look... (click on the picture below)

In case you need a little more enticement, here are a few of my favorites!