New Years Reflections

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

2015 has been the craziest rollercoaster of a year I’ve ever experienced. I’m pretty sure it has held the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life, all crammed into one year. So much love, and so much heartbreak. So much joy, and so much sorrow. So many gifts, and so much loss. Dreams created, and then destroyed. New life, and sudden death. Beginnings and endings. This is the reality of life for every one of us, but I’ve never experienced it in such extremes as I did this year. 

I stand here on the brink of 2016 in a very different place than I expected to be. I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed, but it took a completely different turn. I’m single once again. I’ve recently started my own business and joined the ranks of the serious entrepreneurs. I only acted in one film this year (although I kept busy with marketing work for another). There are empty holes in my life caused by the unexpected deaths of my friend Erica and my pastor Lee Copeland. I’ve been through periods of suffering that felt like more than my heart could bear. Intense, crushing pain. 

I don’t say this for your pity or your condolences. Some of you have been through MUCH worse. Friends, I ONLY say this because I want to give TESTIMONY to the GRACE and MERCY of GOD! My storms may have been much smaller than those of others, but they were the biggest storms I’ve had to weather, and through it all, God was CONSTANT. When it felt like my life was crumbling apart, God was my firm foundation. My rock, my anchor. He held me together. But He did much more than that. He brought comfort to my heart. He gave me peace, and even JOY.

I think that will always remain one of the greatest mysteries of the Christian life to me…how we can feel joy in the midst of suffering. Only by God’s grace! And that GRACE is never ending. His MERCIES are new every morning. He showers us with blessings every day. He heals our hearts and gives us peace.

I step into 2016 a very different person than I was a year ago. The beauty of pain and suffering is the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and to grow closer to God. I have not handled it all as well as I should have, and I have SO much yet to learn, but praise God for His patience, forgiveness, and unconditional love! He gently takes my hand and leads me one step at a time on this journey. 

I don’t know what 2016 holds, but I know it will be good. Just like 2015 was good. Because GOD IS GOOD. All the time. He makes no mistakes. He knew every detail of my life before I was born. I am so thankful for His faithfulness, and the opportunities He gives me to learn and grow. 

And so I look forward with hope. With eager expectation. God’s plans are perfect. He is the Master Storyteller and I trust Him with my story. There are memories waiting to be made. Blank pages waiting to be filled. Adventures waiting to be had. New dreams, and new beginnings. And with God leading the way, it’s going to be AMAZING.