Lessons From a Hummingbird

I've been kind of stressing lately about some big decisions it looked like I might have to make about what I am going to do this Fall.  There are two potential job options (working on films), and both seem like such good choices!  It would take too long to go into detail, but I'll just say that weighing the pros and cons isn't much help.  I've been praying and praying for God to make His will clearly known to me, but I haven't felt any closer to an answer.  I just keep hoping (selfishly) that one of the projects might get pushed back so I can work on both.  

Meanwhile, I'm running out of time to accept or decline one of the jobs, and I still haven't heard back about the other one to know if it's a certainty and if they would want to hire me.  Funding is such a tricky thing in filmmaking, and one of my concerns is that I will accept one job, and then it will end up getting delayed, but by then I will have lost my chance to work on the other one...and then I'd be left with nothing.  (I'm sorry I'm having to keep this so general.  I hope it's not too confusing.)

Whenever those worries crowd my mind, I keep reminding myself that God is in full control and He can work everything out.  But the conflict and the confusion I've been feeling in my mind hasn't made it easy to feel any peace about it.  I've been afraid of making the wrong decision...of not being able to clearly discern God's will.  He has always been faithful to lead me in the past, but it has always been by shutting one door and opening another...  I've never had to make a decision between two big things before, so this new territory has been making me nervous.  In short, I guess I've been afraid of making the wrong decision and missing out on big and wonderful things that God might have had in store for me on the project I *didn't* choose...

First of all, how silly of me to think that God isn't BIG enough to overcome any weaknesses or discrepancies on my part in order to take me where He wants me to be!  He knows who He's dealing with here.  He knows me infinitely better than I know myself...and there's nothing He hasn't taken into account.  He is sovereign and all-powerful!

Okay, so by now you're probably wondering what in the world this has to do with a hummingbird!  Well, I'll tell you.  As an amateur photographer...and a lover of beauty...and an ardent admirer of God's creation and the wildlife therein - I have always wanted to capture a beautiful picture of a hummingbird.  (There are other critters on my bucket list...like deer and so forth...but a hummingbird has been way up there for years.)  However, those little rascals move around too fast, and as soon as I see one, they're gone!  I've never even come close to getting a picture.  Until yesterday.  Here's the story...

I went outside to get some exercise (running up and down the deck steps), and I noticed a beautiful butterfly on the butterfly bush right next to the steps!  So, I ran back inside and fetched my new [amazing] camera!  While I was focusing on the butterfly, a HUMMINGBIRD swooped in and chased it away!  My heart caught in my throat, and I'm pretty sure I froze and stopped breathing there for a minute!  I could hardly believe my eyes!  Then I got ahold of my senses and starting snapping away.  The result...some lovely pictures of a hummingbird.  A dream come true!

Now here comes the connection.  It wasn't until later that I stopped and realized that the hummingbird was God's gift of love to me.  It wasn't *chance* that I was in the right place at the right time with my camera in my hand.  God gave me that opportunity.  He gave me my love for photography, my love of beautiful, my love for His creation, and my desire to capture a hummingbird...and He also provided a way to make it happen.

In the same way, He has given me my passions and dreams and aspirations for the future...and He will provide a way to make it happen.  There were three or four very specific ways He encouraged me yesterday, and I realized that the hummingbird was another way of giving me assurance that I can trust Him fully with this situation.  His purpose is NOT to leave me confused or uncertain.  He loves me, and He is not trying to hide His will from me.  This is a time of testing...a time to strengthen my faith as I lean on Him and wait patiently.  

I kept wondering if I was supposed to be waiting patiently, or if that was just my excuse for not taking responsibility and making a decision.  But I think God is telling me to wait.  I have at least until the end of this week, and from what I've recently heard, I should have more information by then (which will hopefully result in me not having to choose between two very good projects!).

Here are some verses I looked up today that have been extremely helpful and encouraging...

Psalm 27:23 ~ "The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way."

Proverbs 16:9 ~ "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

Proverbs 20:24 ~ "A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?"

Psalm 9:10 ~ "And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you."

Psalm 143:8 ~ "Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.  Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Proverbs 28:26 ~ "Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."

Phil. 4:5b-7 ~ "The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Isaiah 26:3-4 ~ "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock."